Exhaustion...already

This has been a big week for me, for us, and yet, here it is, only Thursday, and I feel like I could collapse into a big pile and sleep for three days.

First of all - WE BOUGHT OUR HOUSE! It's taken about two and a half months, but in spite of that, IT IS DONE! No one can take it away from us...unless we foolishly decide to not make our mortgage payments!

The closing was fine; in fact, it was filled with much less anxiety than I anticipated. I thought we would be met with a mile-high stack of papers, requiring us to sign over our souls. Not the case! Instead, we were met with a plate of warm, freshly-baked cookies and a Lowe's gift card from our realtor. We were in and out in about an hour (can you really call that in-and-out?!), and another hour later, we were homeowners. We will get the keys probably toward the end of the month, so in the meantime, there is a lot of packing to be had.

The other big deal with this week is that I started school. For the next five and a half weeks, I'm taking Intro to Psychology and Human growth & Development.

Both of my professors are outstanding; the premises for both of the classes are outstanding as well. Intro to Psych is not your traditional Psych class...in other words, don't expect me to be able to analyze you at the end of the semester! Instead, it's a focus on the science of the brain - more of how it works, and less the philosophy behind it. When the professor was explaining this to us, I felt like a kid on the night before Christmas; I was SO STINKING EXCITED! My mind also jumped to the exhibition we currently have down at the museum...what a nice compliment my class will be to my docenting!

My professor is great, and I really enjoy him. Any professor who picks on his students (out of affection) is OK in my book. He's sarcastic and direct, funny and interesting. He is also very science-minded, which I enjoy.

I did find myself a little verklempt today, however. We were talking about the idea of biology versus environment; that is, we are who we are primarily because of our biology, and NOT because of our environment. My professor ended our lecture with the assertion "When it's biology versus environment, BIOLOGY ALWAYS WINS!"

As I drove home, I felt myself feeling really dismayed and almost depressed about the note on which class ended. I have never belonged to that school of thought that we are just "dust in the wind," or specks of dirt on the planet as human beings. I believe that all of us have some sort of higher calling in life - really, that's just fancy-talk for my belief that we are all called to be the best versions of ourself that we can be in this life. We can't control everything that happens to us, but we can control the way we tread upon our planet, and the compassion we have toward animals and other human beings. Anyhoo, I began to ruminate on the idea that NO MATTER what decisions I make, or paths I choose, my destiny is pre-determined by my biology, and that I have nothing more to await than some genetically pre-determined fate.

What I HAVE arrived at is a couple of things, one primarily being that THIS IS COLLEGE, and there will be professors that I have, and don't agree with. After all, the whole biology versus environment thing is just a theory, no? All of science is theories, not facts.

I also arrived at the conclusion that I do believe that biology controls about 90% of who we are...but it can greatly be affected by environment and other external factors (medications, therapies, accidents, etc.) that can alter our biology, whether it be temporarily or permanently.

My HG&D class is a bit of a beating - and I mean that only in the sense that it is four hours long. My professor is a talking maniac, but she's so captivating, and wildly entertaining. She also works as a clinical counselor, and uses stories about her clients to illustrate topics we are discussing.

I sorta feel like I joined the rest of the universe today, in that I learned all about Freud...or, as much about Freud as one can learn in that timeframe. I have always known that Freud was an important figure, and that he had all sorts of wicked theories about childhood, sexuality and dreams, but today, I feel like I could actually participate in a conversation about some of those things. That's a very good way to feel about anything, I think.

A rather unintended consequence of this class is a little fear - the fear of just how impressionable we are as human beings, particularly as LITTLE human beings. Just based on some of the discussions that we had today, I realized HOW IMPORTANT it is when we choose our words and actions toward one another, be it toward our children, parents, siblings or spouses. I'm not sure how else to articulate that, but to be aware of my words and actions, going forward, is going to be at the forefront of my mind.

The nice thing is that the two classes I am taking right now are very complimentary; in fact, many topics in my second class were reiterated from my first class. I like that, with these classes and professors, I am getting two sides of the same coin, so to speak. In one class, I'm getting the "how," and in the other, I'm getting the "why"...or at least one person's opinion about the "why."

On the other hand, this semester is pretty much going to kick my rear end...to North Dakota and back again. Both classes are reading and studying-intense, and to further illustrate that point, I will admit that I have a test on 4 chapters of HG&D in a week...and here I am, blogging! (one thing I learned in class: procrastination is validated by prior experiences [and successes] in PROCRASTINATION!)

So, in a nutshell, suffice it to say that I am STOKED about this semester, but may very well go missing in the next few weeks...I have a lot of reading and writing to get done!